Day...

...3450 of my captivity

My Human's contain me in this tiny place they call home. they feed me dry cerial, while they feed themselves lavishly on Fish and traingle shaped goodness they call "Pizza"
if they had any respect at all (they clearly don't) they would at least put some milk in this dry substinace to make it a little more etible. it hurts my teath to eat such blasphomy. they wonder why my teath are rotting. gosh.

i think they intend to kill me. but, i hope to beat them to it. i have tried many times. tripping them at the stop of stairs. They think that this so called "love" they use upon me will lure me to them so one day they will stab me or snap my neck or something morbid like that. i would approach it a little less...nice.

I would start by hanging them upside down, over a cliff, into a pot of this so called boiling "Coffee" they drink to keep themselves going. and then i'd lower them in and out of it over and over again. after that i'd probably start a few fires. just to make them wonder what the heck is going on. i might then lay them flat on a table. and kneed on them for hours on end while they're hands are bound. after that i'd leave them to bleed to death.

ether that or trip them at the top of the stairs :) that ideas seems rather fun. cause i can repeat it over and over again, and cause pain to them. maybe if i do that they will sit down so i can sit on them and take the warmth they make for me. That would be lovely. NO I DIDN'T SAY LOVELY! don't be rediculus.

but they continue to Dangle fluffy objects in my face when i am simply trying to relax. I have a Friend i can use to help me take over the world. its a Black Spider named Carl...